Want to lose your case? Here's how.

Another great article from the Lawyerist (I love that blog!)

How to Lose, tip #1: Forget about citing relevant authority. If you want to lose, you don’t need to support your arguments with authority. Your judge has hired law clerks to research authority and to figure out whether it is relevant to the disputed issues. And your court has already paid for a subscription to LexisNexis or Westlaw. As an economics major, I highly value efficient research and understand why you wouldn’t want to duplicate the efforts of the clerks. After all, efficiency beats winning any day.

Or:  do a variation on #1, which is to create relevant authority. I mean, c'mon, as an attorney you've read enough appellate level opinions to be able to write them in your sleep, so why not give it a try? (Tempting, I know, but wrong! See MRPC Rule 3.3)

(please note: for those of you who've lost a sense of humor after 3 or more years of law school, this column is intended as satire! It's a joke, so loosen up!)