Q: My ex keeps changing the summer schedule on me, and now she is asking to change next year, for the school district our kids are enrolled in, what should I do?
A:You really have two questions here, first on the summer parenting time, and the second is change of schools.
First:
If you have a court order that summarizes when and where parenting time should take place in the summer months, both of you have to follow it.
However, if you and she have had a verbal agreement, where each of you agrees to what to do with the kids in the summer, it might be hard to say "she's violating the order," since there is no specific times - in writing - that you can show she hasn't done.
Sad to say, it would have been better to get everything settled in advance of when summer time came, but I understand that sometimes this is hard to do, since camps have waiting lists, day care has staff changes, etc., during the summer months. The best thing is to keep in communication with her, the camp, the day care, etc., as the summer is being planned -- that way no unpleasant surprises are waiting for anyone.
Second:
Change of schools is a whole different issue. Most parents who share custody of children share legal custody of the children. These are the decisions in a child's life such as: where to attend school, where and when to go to church (if you do attend church), medical care, and other issues where it is important for the parents to agree.
In other words, one parent typically can't unilaterally decide that the children will change schools.
It could be that your judgment of divorce (or custody) states what school district the children are to attend. But if it doesn't, you should get separate legal advice on this issue to see if you need a motion to help decide the proper school district.
There is a good bit of case law on this issue - so again - I suggest you have an attorney review your current orders, and facts to help you.
Showing posts with label father's rights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label father's rights. Show all posts
Monday, July 2, 2018
Monday, May 9, 2016
Q & A: My son's dad and I broke up. I never want to deal with him again. Can I get him to sign off his rights to our son?
Q : My son's dad and I broke up. We've been living together for 5 years, and our son is 3 years old. I never want to deal with my ex-boyfriend again. Can I get him to sign off his rights?
A: A lot of people have the interesting idea that it's an easy process to change another person's rights to custody, simply because that parent doesn't want to continue any relationship at all with the other parent.
Your question focuses on Family law, specifically child custody, parenting time, and child support. One thing to keep in mind is that Family court is a court that sits in equity. Equity doesn't mean everything is split down the middle, but rather that the court make a decision that's fair to both parents.
If there are no court orders in place, and the couple is not married, the court will place primary physical custody with the mother. The unmarried father will have to assert his right to parenting time, but also be willing to take on the support responsibility, even if no support is ordered.
If either parent has applied for or received State Assistance in the state of Michigan, the office of the prosecutor (in the form of that county's Friend of Court offices) will begin a support action regardless (as the Assistance is paid by other tax payers, the support at that time is to re-imburse the state for that Assistance). The good thing about an action started by the FOC is that it also allows for a father to have reasonable parenting time.
A court will not let a parent "sign off" his or her rights without also making a decision in the custody matter. This goes back to the equity idea: it's not fair to take away one parent's rights simply because the other parent is tired of dealing with him or her.
Ask yourself, as a parent, if "signing off" is what is really best for the child. It's understood that these matters are full of emotion, but it's best if the child has a continuing relationship with the other parent, and that the child will get support financially from that parent as well.
Also, without evidence to the contrary, the court will presume that having a relationship with both parents is in the best interest of the child. The court will do what it can to encourage that relationship through its orders.
If you have other questions, please seek a private consultation with an attorney to determine a legal course of action.
A: A lot of people have the interesting idea that it's an easy process to change another person's rights to custody, simply because that parent doesn't want to continue any relationship at all with the other parent.
Your question focuses on Family law, specifically child custody, parenting time, and child support. One thing to keep in mind is that Family court is a court that sits in equity. Equity doesn't mean everything is split down the middle, but rather that the court make a decision that's fair to both parents.
If there are no court orders in place, and the couple is not married, the court will place primary physical custody with the mother. The unmarried father will have to assert his right to parenting time, but also be willing to take on the support responsibility, even if no support is ordered.
If either parent has applied for or received State Assistance in the state of Michigan, the office of the prosecutor (in the form of that county's Friend of Court offices) will begin a support action regardless (as the Assistance is paid by other tax payers, the support at that time is to re-imburse the state for that Assistance). The good thing about an action started by the FOC is that it also allows for a father to have reasonable parenting time.
A court will not let a parent "sign off" his or her rights without also making a decision in the custody matter. This goes back to the equity idea: it's not fair to take away one parent's rights simply because the other parent is tired of dealing with him or her.
Ask yourself, as a parent, if "signing off" is what is really best for the child. It's understood that these matters are full of emotion, but it's best if the child has a continuing relationship with the other parent, and that the child will get support financially from that parent as well.
Also, without evidence to the contrary, the court will presume that having a relationship with both parents is in the best interest of the child. The court will do what it can to encourage that relationship through its orders.
If you have other questions, please seek a private consultation with an attorney to determine a legal course of action.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Choosing a family law attorney, Part Three
Part Three
Welcome back. In Part One, ways to search for your family law attorney were covered. Part Two addressed phone contact with your potential attorney. Part Three will cover what to expect in the in-person consultation.Frequently asked questions:
1. Should I bring anyone with me? What about things I should bring with me?A: It depends. Some attorneys would prefer if you attend the appointment alone. There are reasons for this: for example, you will feel less embarrassed discussing personal details. And, any conversation with your attorney is privileged, but once a third party joins that conversation, where's the client's confidentiality?
However, if you feel you need moral support to go into the consultation, or that you are likely to forget things the attorney talked about, bringing another person might be a good idea.
As far as things to bring: any thing that has been filed with the court so far, if anything. And anything your attorney requests you to bring (tax statements, for example).
2. What kinds of questions should I ask?
Feel free to ask anything you would like of your attorney about your situation. If your attorney brushes past your questions, ask yourself if you feel that your concerns will be treated with the importance they deserve or not. After all, the consultation is a decision for both you and the attorney- to decide whether you will continue this relationship. If it feels as if your attorney is trying to offer you a "one-size-fits-all" case, don't continue after the consultation.
3.What kinds of topics will we cover? Why is this so personal?
Anything that affected your married life, and more, will be covered. The reason is because the court will have to make decisions on some of them as your case progresses
For example:
Topic: Reason:
When were your children born? Eligibility for Child Support
How much is your house worth? If it is considered marital property, it will be divided
Where do you and your spouse work Which spouse might be ordered to pay support
and how much do you earn?
4. What happens next?
That depends on your situation. If you're just starting a divorce, initial filing with the county court where you live will be next. If you're already somewhere past the initial filing, a motion might be next to decide some of the open issues in your case.This is where the rubber hits the road, and your attorney gives you legal advice about your options in your current situation.
Lastly,
There are a lot of online resources about family law in various states. Some of them will not apply to your situation, so as with so many things you read online, take them with a grain of salt. If you still have questions about your situation, call your attorney again to ask.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Choosing a family law attorney, Part Two
In Part One, we discussed ways of getting information on attorneys. Part Two will talk about the initial phone contact with the potential lawyer's offices.
Frequently asked questions:
1. Who answers the phone and how do they answer it?
A: Many attorneys do not answer their own phones. His or her schedule won't permit it perhaps, or the attorney prefers to have a gate keeper between himself or herself and the general public. Either way, you are a potential paying client, so you should feel welcomed, and not that you're an intrusion on otherwise valuable time. It's possible that you will have to leave a voice mail. If so, make sure you state whether the attorney can call you back, or not.
2. What kinds of questions should I ask? What kinds of questions should I be ready to answer?
A: Be prepared with a list of questions about your specific situation. For example, "I am thinking about filing for divorce, and I have three minor children." Or: "My ex-girlfriend left the state with our child, can I start a custody hearing?" Be specific, as the attorney can only answer what they are aware of. Don't be afraid to ask about costs.
If you have a specific date coming up, make sure you mention that, or it may not be addressed. For example, "I just left a custody hearing this morning, and the judge said to come back for an evidentiary hearing . . . "
Remember, attorneys are smart, not psychic! And it's entirely possible that some of your questions will need more time before they can be answered. This is why there is no "one-size-fits-all" divorces.
On the other hand, try to answer any questions that are asked. My office has a list of questions used for when a potential new client calls, so that I am aware of what next steps need to be taken for that case. We will always ask where you live, how long you've been married, and the ages of the children.
3. Scheduling the initial appointment and other matters.
It's possible that you'll be scheduled for either a phone consultation, or an in-office consultation. I prefer in-office consultations. I feel that it's easier, less rushed than a phone call, and allows the potential client (and attorney) feel more at ease with one another.
Please consider where your attorney is located, your own location, and the courthouse you'll be using. If you plan on making your attorney drive long distances, that's fine, but that might impact your cost overall.
4. The appointment is scheduled, now what?
It's possible the attorney will mail you information to fill out, or have you fill it out in the consultation. This information will help them start your case, and give you some legal answers. Either way, keep your appointment, or call to reschedule it if necessary.
Set aside enough time to drive to the appointment, depending on the time of day.
Bring any necessary documents with you, for example, anything you've received from the court, or that you feel will help the attorney to serve you better.
5. How much should I expect to pay?
A: This is a difficult question to answer. Attorneys have rules of professional ethics to guide them in setting fees. (MRPC 1.5) That said, a basic retainer could range from $850 to $5000, depending on the complexity of the legal issues involved, the experience of the attorney, and the novelty of the legal issues involved (more complex or unique issues can take longer to be addressed). And, the retainer may or may not cover your entire cost of the case, depending on how long it takes, and the nature of the parties involved (who will argue more over issues, you or your soon-to-be-ex?) Also, additional experts may be needed, from child psychologists to business valuation experts, depending on your situation.
Coming Next: Part Three: What to Expect in the Initial Consultation.
Frequently asked questions:
1. Who answers the phone and how do they answer it?
A: Many attorneys do not answer their own phones. His or her schedule won't permit it perhaps, or the attorney prefers to have a gate keeper between himself or herself and the general public. Either way, you are a potential paying client, so you should feel welcomed, and not that you're an intrusion on otherwise valuable time. It's possible that you will have to leave a voice mail. If so, make sure you state whether the attorney can call you back, or not.
2. What kinds of questions should I ask? What kinds of questions should I be ready to answer?
A: Be prepared with a list of questions about your specific situation. For example, "I am thinking about filing for divorce, and I have three minor children." Or: "My ex-girlfriend left the state with our child, can I start a custody hearing?" Be specific, as the attorney can only answer what they are aware of. Don't be afraid to ask about costs.
If you have a specific date coming up, make sure you mention that, or it may not be addressed. For example, "I just left a custody hearing this morning, and the judge said to come back for an evidentiary hearing . . . "
Remember, attorneys are smart, not psychic! And it's entirely possible that some of your questions will need more time before they can be answered. This is why there is no "one-size-fits-all" divorces.
On the other hand, try to answer any questions that are asked. My office has a list of questions used for when a potential new client calls, so that I am aware of what next steps need to be taken for that case. We will always ask where you live, how long you've been married, and the ages of the children.
3. Scheduling the initial appointment and other matters.
It's possible that you'll be scheduled for either a phone consultation, or an in-office consultation. I prefer in-office consultations. I feel that it's easier, less rushed than a phone call, and allows the potential client (and attorney) feel more at ease with one another.
Please consider where your attorney is located, your own location, and the courthouse you'll be using. If you plan on making your attorney drive long distances, that's fine, but that might impact your cost overall.
4. The appointment is scheduled, now what?
It's possible the attorney will mail you information to fill out, or have you fill it out in the consultation. This information will help them start your case, and give you some legal answers. Either way, keep your appointment, or call to reschedule it if necessary.
Set aside enough time to drive to the appointment, depending on the time of day.
Bring any necessary documents with you, for example, anything you've received from the court, or that you feel will help the attorney to serve you better.
5. How much should I expect to pay?
A: This is a difficult question to answer. Attorneys have rules of professional ethics to guide them in setting fees. (MRPC 1.5) That said, a basic retainer could range from $850 to $5000, depending on the complexity of the legal issues involved, the experience of the attorney, and the novelty of the legal issues involved (more complex or unique issues can take longer to be addressed). And, the retainer may or may not cover your entire cost of the case, depending on how long it takes, and the nature of the parties involved (who will argue more over issues, you or your soon-to-be-ex?) Also, additional experts may be needed, from child psychologists to business valuation experts, depending on your situation.
Coming Next: Part Three: What to Expect in the Initial Consultation.
Monday, March 31, 2014
How to choose a family law attorney, Part One
In Part One, we will help you work through the process of deciding who to call to start your divorce or custody case (or to represent you if your spouse has already filed for divorce).
Frequently asked questions:
1. Can't I represent myself in this?
A: Yes, you can. But that doesn't mean you should. Going into court and representing yourself is like do-it-yourself surgery performed by an amateur. When it comes to family law, you have a lot of things at stake: ownership of your home, custody of your child(ren), how your personal property might be divided, when and how often you can spend time with your child(ren), are only a few issues that a family law judge will decide for you. It's best to have an attorney, who can present the best side of your case to the judge, and help you get the best result possible.
Read this article for more information on issues that will be part of your family law case, or go to my website.
2. Aren't attorneys expensive?
A: It depends on what you think of as "expensive." Again, this is the most important area of your life, where the most intimate personal decisions in your life have been made. It makes sense to protect these interests, and not doing so may cost you more in the long run. Many attorneys will let you arrange a payment plan, as well.
3. How do I decide who to call?
A: There are many ways to go about this. The internet is the most popular search tool currently. But that doesn't mean you should just pick one of the first-listed attorneys when you type in your search terms.
Fact: Advertisers pay to be listed on Google. This is true for all areas that can be searched on Google, including legal services. The higher-cost advertisers will land on the first page, at the more popular times of the day. It's like having a billboard in rush hour traffic on a busy highway. The lower-cost ads show up less often, and at less popular times of the day. This is like having a billboard in a urban neighborhood.
I recommend good old word of mouth advertising over internet advertising. It's better to get a recommendation from someone who's used that service before you, whether it's a mechanic, or an attorney.
4. Ok, I talked to three or four people and got a short list of who to call. What now?
A: Once you've talked to people you know, you've gotten their feedback about what they liked (or didn't) about their attorney. Use the internet (or do a white pages search) to get that attorney's phone number. Then call the office to set up a consultation.
5. I'm too uncomfortable to talk to my friends and family about this now. How can I get a good recommendation?
A: There are other online services that "rank" attorneys. These are sites like Avvo, and Martindale Hubble, Lexis-Nexis, etc.
Fact: These sites are biased in favor of attorneys who play the game. For example, a lawyer who participates on Avvo (claims their profile, advertises, answers questions) will have a higher Avvo ranking than a lawyer who doesn't. For example, look at the ranking of a prominent national attorney (like Eric Holder, the current US Attorney General). Their ranking might be lower than some attorney who participates a lot on that site.
So go ahead and try those sites (Avvo, lawyers.com, etc.) but be warned that the information there isn't always an accurate reflection of what the attorney is actually like, so take it with a grain of salt. (For more information, read this article from About.com).
Or: if you think the sites might mislead you, or you feel you can't talk about this to people you know because it's too personal, use your local bar association for a referral. Lawyers pay to belong to this referral service, and give part of the fee you pay them back to the referral service. I participate in my local bar association's referral service, and think it's a great service to the public. (State Bar of Michigan referral, Grand Rapids Bar Association Referral).
Coming Next: Part Two: What to Expect in the Initial Phone Call.
Frequently asked questions:
1. Can't I represent myself in this?
A: Yes, you can. But that doesn't mean you should. Going into court and representing yourself is like do-it-yourself surgery performed by an amateur. When it comes to family law, you have a lot of things at stake: ownership of your home, custody of your child(ren), how your personal property might be divided, when and how often you can spend time with your child(ren), are only a few issues that a family law judge will decide for you. It's best to have an attorney, who can present the best side of your case to the judge, and help you get the best result possible.
Read this article for more information on issues that will be part of your family law case, or go to my website.
2. Aren't attorneys expensive?
A: It depends on what you think of as "expensive." Again, this is the most important area of your life, where the most intimate personal decisions in your life have been made. It makes sense to protect these interests, and not doing so may cost you more in the long run. Many attorneys will let you arrange a payment plan, as well.
3. How do I decide who to call?
A: There are many ways to go about this. The internet is the most popular search tool currently. But that doesn't mean you should just pick one of the first-listed attorneys when you type in your search terms.
Fact: Advertisers pay to be listed on Google. This is true for all areas that can be searched on Google, including legal services. The higher-cost advertisers will land on the first page, at the more popular times of the day. It's like having a billboard in rush hour traffic on a busy highway. The lower-cost ads show up less often, and at less popular times of the day. This is like having a billboard in a urban neighborhood.
I recommend good old word of mouth advertising over internet advertising. It's better to get a recommendation from someone who's used that service before you, whether it's a mechanic, or an attorney.
4. Ok, I talked to three or four people and got a short list of who to call. What now?
A: Once you've talked to people you know, you've gotten their feedback about what they liked (or didn't) about their attorney. Use the internet (or do a white pages search) to get that attorney's phone number. Then call the office to set up a consultation.
5. I'm too uncomfortable to talk to my friends and family about this now. How can I get a good recommendation?
A: There are other online services that "rank" attorneys. These are sites like Avvo, and Martindale Hubble, Lexis-Nexis, etc.
Fact: These sites are biased in favor of attorneys who play the game. For example, a lawyer who participates on Avvo (claims their profile, advertises, answers questions) will have a higher Avvo ranking than a lawyer who doesn't. For example, look at the ranking of a prominent national attorney (like Eric Holder, the current US Attorney General). Their ranking might be lower than some attorney who participates a lot on that site.
So go ahead and try those sites (Avvo, lawyers.com, etc.) but be warned that the information there isn't always an accurate reflection of what the attorney is actually like, so take it with a grain of salt. (For more information, read this article from About.com).
Or: if you think the sites might mislead you, or you feel you can't talk about this to people you know because it's too personal, use your local bar association for a referral. Lawyers pay to belong to this referral service, and give part of the fee you pay them back to the referral service. I participate in my local bar association's referral service, and think it's a great service to the public. (State Bar of Michigan referral, Grand Rapids Bar Association Referral).
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
How does the law apply to custody of unborn children?
Article here.
The legal question is whether the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act gives courts authority to determine the custody, or jurisdiction of custody cases, based on the location of the pregnant mother. The tabloid question is who gets to raise baby Samuel Bode Miller-McKenna -- son of Olympic downhill ski legend Bode Miller and a former Marine he met through a "high-end" match-making service -- and where. The New York Times covers the story in "Custody Battle Raises Questions About the Rights of Women."
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